Christmas by the Numbers

Has your household succumbed to the Christmas Crazies yet? I don’t know about your family, but right around the time they begin making Christmas tree crafts at the library story hour, my kids start bouncing off the walls with sugar-infused excitement. The results can be especially draining.

Way back in 2005, I wrote a blog post about the craziness of daily family life this time of year, in which I inventoried the goings-on of a typical pre-Christmas morning. A reader recently emailed to ask where she could find it, so I decided to share it here with you.

Let’s laugh together, lest we cry, right Moms?

MY MORNING IN NUMBERS

Complaints about doing chores: 46

Threats about coal in Christmas stockings: 46

Pages of school work completed: 8

Pages of school work corrected: 0

Times I shouted “STOP SHOUTING!”: 7

Special breakfasts Kateri cooked for her chickens: 1

Scorched pots found in the kitchen sink: 2

Baths the baby needed before noon: 2

Baths the baby got before noon: 1

Doses of Exedrin taken: 2

Times I put the baby down for a nap: 3

Naps the baby took: 0

Times I swept the floor: 6

Times the floor needed sweeping: 7

Candy canes found in the washing machine: 1

Candy canes found stuck to the dog’s rear end: 1.5

Candy canes found by stepping on them: 6

Times I answered the question “How many days till Christmas?”: 27

Christmas tree skirts stolen and used as Superman capes: 1

Christmas tree balls shattered: 2

Times I seriously considered adding a shot of Kahlua to my cup of coffee: 1… okay 2… 3 tops

Times I remembered to thank God for the precious gift of my children: 0

Maybe I’ll do that now.

About Danielle Bean

Danielle Bean

Danielle Bean, mother of eight, is editor-in-chief of Catholic Digest and Faith & Family. She is also author of My Cup of Tea: Musings of a Catholic Mom, Mom to Mom, Day to Day: Advice and Support for Catholic Living and (with Elizabeth Foss) Small Steps for Catholic Moms: Think. Pray. Act. Every Day

  • Michelle Donaldson

    That’s hilarious! Relieved to know I’m not the only one this happens to. Thanks Danielle :)

    • Danielle Bean

      Same here, Michelle!